In that sense, our anger really is our biggest problem.

Our anger creates a cloud of emotion that keeps us from responding in a cogent, productive way. Buddhist meditation teacher Norman Fischer suggests that no matter what’s happened, the biggest problem we face is our own anger. A Sylvia Boorstein nugget that pretty much says it all.

Try not to fall into other people’s states of mind.

Sylvia Boorstein has a saying that helps to remind us of this truth: “First this happened, then that happened, then that happened. No one person is entirely to blame for the end result. Bad things and misunderstandings most often “happen” through a series of events, like a domino effect. Picking apart past events and trying to assign blame (including blaming yourself) is rarely productive. Buddhist psychologist Sylvia Boorstein suggests that instead we simply give ourselves permission to wait and see what happens next. We sometimes feel the need to respond and react to difficult people or situations right away, which is why we stew over what to say or do next.

With time, the thing we’re annoyed about often just falls away. It allows us to simmer down, let things go, and take the high road. Saying less and letting more time pass when we’re dealing with a difficult, reactive person is almost always a smart move.

What does it mean to give someone head